


and i've finally found a home within you

by seidesumei



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: A Love that cannot be (?), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Did Yuzu just commit a crime?, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Javi hugs Yuzu, Javi is late....as expected, Javi leaving for Spain forever feels, Nothing makes federal sense but just bear with me okie, Rip all of Javi’s checked bags, Yuzu almost gets arrested, Yuzu cries, Yuzu kisses Javi, Yuzu misses Javi hours, flufff, knife shoes appreciation society, o no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 04:36:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17379689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seidesumei/pseuds/seidesumei
Summary: Javi is at the airport, boarding his flight to his permanent stay in Spain, and Yuzu can't help but feel like he's left something unfinished.Love makes a fool of us all. Even Yuzuru Hanyu.





	and i've finally found a home within you

**Author's Note:**

> HI IT ME (I used to be proteccmepls)! So this wonky not-cliche-at-all idea came up after listening to "Rain" by Ryuichi Sakamoto! I hope this breaks and then heals your hearts uwu
> 
> Also no beta-reading has occurred, so oops sorry for errors (just say yikes and move on)
> 
> Here is the song! Strongly recommend listening after reading! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrlOUuNbMco
> 
> Love yalls <3

Yuzuru shuffled in his room, pacing back and forth panickedly, though he didn’t even know why. He had already said his goodbyes to Javi, who was leaving for Spain in an hour.

 

_Leaving for Spain….. forever…._

 

Yuzuru felt the tears bubble to his eyes, and he punched his bedroom wall angrily. He had already accepted his fate, already accepted the fact that they missed their chance, so why was he still so uneasy? Why did he feel like something was…

 

Unfinished?

 

Yuzuru sat on the edge of his bed, gripping the edge until his knuckles turned white, and he thought back to the times when Javi would wrap his arms around his frame, or how his hands would leave soft touches on the small of his back and waist, like a bee landing elegantly upon the petal of an innocent flower. He felt ghosts of the wind mimic the sensation, and he began to tremble.

 

_Javi can’t just leave! He can’t just leave because…._

 

_If he does, he’ll take what’s left of my heart with him… and…_

 

_And what about me?_

 

Yuzuru stood up abruptly, running to the front door while struggling with his jacket; just as he was about to sprint outside, he was met face to face with his mother, who was carrying an armful of Chinese cabbage with a surprised look on her face.

 

“Yuzuru? What are you do-”

 

“Mama, I need to go to the airport. Please take me!”

 

Yuzuru saw the realization settle in her eyes. They didn't lie, even when she tried to question him.

 

“Yuzuru, why on Earth do you want to-”

 

“ _Please!_ ”

 

Yumi watched, shocked, as a lone tear drifted down her son’s face, and they locked eyes, knowing that his gaze hid nothing at all. Yuzuru had lay himself raw and vulnerable, all the bubbling emotions within her son suddenly clear in view, and she knew she couldn’t refuse.

 

“Mama _please…._ ”

 

Yumi set the vegetables she was holding on the counter, rushing back to her car, where Yuzuru, practically jittering, had already settled himself.

 

…

 

The second his mother pulled up to the curb, Yuzuru flew out of the car, sprinting desperately towards the departures. He ran like the wind through the crowds, uncharacteristically pushing people aside with murmured apologies and “please, excuse me, I am sorry”s. He could practically feel the intensity of the glares from behind his back, but Yuzuru thought it was fair, he deserved it.

 

Yuzuru had made around 3 laps around the check-in area before he could accept that no, Javi was not there, and he panickedly fumbled his phone out to check the time.

 

_3:21 pm_

 

Yuzuru paled. He unlocked his phone to reveal his last exchanged text messages with Javi, and he felt his heart drop to the bottom of his feet.

 

[Jaavi  ( ˘ ³˘)♥]:

 

       Yusu!! I am leaving for Spain tomorrow… I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I will fly at 3:45 afternoon….. so any time before?

 

 [Me]:

 

       Javi…. I cannot… I am sorry. Have nice flight! Will thinking of you

 

[Jaavi  ( ˘ ³˘)♥]:

 

      Ok….. will miss you Yuzu. :( I just wish you would see me again before I leave

 

Read 8:55 pm

 

_3:45 pm…_

 

_He was too late._

 

The sheer reality of the situation hit Yuzuru then; Yuzuru was never going to see Javier again. He would never feel the gentle hand stroke the side of his waist, never run his fingers through those gorgeous brown curls ever again. Never again would Javier… Javi… “Jabi!”

 

He hadn’t realized he had let out the cry until he had screamed the name for the second time, when everyone in the vicinity had turned around and stared at him as if he were insane. And suddenly, Yuzuru didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care about anything. How could he?

 

He was sprinting towards the “Exit Only” doors of the security check, and several alerted officers, fumbled around, clearly shocked by the speed at which he was approaching, and by the time he had actually reached the door, there were already five of them braced at the entrance. But Yuzuru didn’t care.

 

“Sir, we apologize but this door is for exiting on- woah woah stop!”

 

Yuzuru had no plans of stopping, of being patient, kind, understanding Yuzuru Hanyu, polite, cultured, _civilized_ Yuzuru Hanyu, as he barrelled past the police, even as frantic hands swiped his back from behind him to stop him. He had barely even made it a few steps past before he was swarmed with security officers, and he flailed desperately midst the bodies, hopelessly resisting the force pushing him backwards. When he opened his mouth next, all the desperation spilled out. “Jabi! No! Let me go! I need to! He’s leaving! Get off me! Jabi! JABI!” Yuzuru screamed louder, and by then, the chaos in the area had escalated dramatically, mothers pulling their children away from the intruder, gasping as the struggle amongst the officers continued. “Please! You have to let me go you _have to….._ ” Yuzuru sobbed as he felt his arms tugged forcefully against his back. Was he… was he getting arrested? If he had any more room in his head, he’d be able to imagine the headlines already: “Figure Skater Yuzuru Hanyu Jailed for Trespassing Through Airport Security.” But the only thing in his mind was Javi, his sweet _Javi_.

 

Yuzuru could hear the clinking of handcuffs being brought over to where he stood restrained, and he tugged desperately at his arms and body, albeit unsuccessfully.

 

It was then when he heard it. The breathy panicked voice, and even if it was shocked, Yuzuru could almost feel the sun shining on his face again. He whirled around at lightning speed, as did the officers surrounding him, and Yuzuru saw Javier, his training mate Javier, Javier his love, standing with his mouth agape, a cup of coffee in hand with a slightly heaving breath. Yuzuru could remember the times when Javier looked precisely like this, his own honking laughter filling the rink as Javi tumbled into the club five minutes late, running to escape Brian’s screaming scolds with no success.

 

“Yusu?? What are you…?”

 

Yuzuru could only stare at him with his eyes shining, and after a few moments, the officers began to move again. Yuzuru whined quietly in shame as his restrained arms were tugged upwards slightly, and he heard the handcuffs floating closer to his arms when he saw Javi’s panicked eyes widen, and the coffee in his left hand fall to the floor, along with the suitcase in his right. Yuzuru’s breath hitched as he felt Javier’s strong yet gentle hand rest upon the security officer’s on his own. His eyes never left Javi’s.

 

“Please, let him go. He meant no harm. He just needed to see me.”

 

“Sir, you don’t understand, this man just attempted to trespass-”

 

“And I apologize for his reckless behavior,” Javier stated calmly as he delivered a piercing look at Yuzuru, at which he gulped nervously, “but please understand. He just wanted to see me one last time before I leave, as I won’t be returning to Canada, after I leave. Please forgive him just this once. It won’t happen again.” Javier finished sincerely, with a calm yet pleading look in his eyes towards the security officer, and after a few moments of dead silence, the man nodded, releasing his iron grip on Yuzuru’s wrists. Yuzu winced at the pressure, rubbing at his reddened skin when he was pushed back out the doorway with a menacing glance from the security staff before he felt another fierce tug on his arm, turning him around.

 

_Javi…_

 

“What were you thinking?” Javier lashed, eyes red with anger and worry. “You could have gotten arrested Yusu! If you wanted to see me you could just tell me! What do you think you would have done if they took you to jail, huh? What did you think was going to happen?” Yuzuru could practically feel the gust of wind from Javier’s loud shouts in his face, and he had barely processed what had just happened when he realized that Javier’s hands were grasping his waist firmly, trembling as he shook Yuzuru in emphasis.

 

Javier was here…

 

Even Javier could not expect the storm of tears that had just exploded from his training mate, and he looked rather alarmed when the first sob pierced heavily through the sluggish air of the building. Yuzuru looked absolutely wrecked, hair sticking in all different direction as tear tracks streaked his face at an alarming pace. His eyes were puffed and swollen, lips quivering as he let out another heart wrenching wail. Javi didn’t know what to do, except to sigh, and pull Yuzu into his arms, his soft arms stroking the tense back soothingly as his training mate cried. “Want Jabi… want Jabi always… Javi please don’t go”, Yuzuru’s warbling voice mixed in with his sobs, and Javier could feel the words tug at his heartstrings, which were long broken already at the prospect of leaving the younger. _Yuzu, please don’t do this now…._ Before Javi had to squeeze his eyes shut, he could see from the corner of his eyes the same flock of security officers watching intently, the one he had spoken to specifically observing with soft, sad eyes. “I’m sorry Yusu… I’m sorry I’m so selfish but I need to go home. Do you understand?” he returned gently, his own heart breaking as he spoke. Yuzuru had only cried harder, but he could feel the faint nod against his shoulder, and the pure acceptance of allowing Javi to do what he wished even if it meant his own heart was breaking, only made Javi’s chest tighten more, his own tears beginning to slide down his cheeks. They stayed in each others arms until Yuzuru’s sobs quieted to cries, whimpers, and eventually sniffles. When Javier pulled back, he could see Yuzuru’s face, practically grey with grief as he teetered to find his footing again, Javi’s own hands on his waist to steady him worriedly. Yuzuru was looking down at his feet when the security guard had pulled up next to them once again with a fallen face and a tablet in hand. “You are Mr. Fernandez, correct?” Javier nodded faintly, and a flash of pity washed upon the guard’s face. “Your flight is waiting on you. The plane will be leaving in ten minutes, so I regret to tell you, but you need to proceed as soon as possible.” Javier could only nod numbly, his eyes never leaving Yuzuru as he watched all of the hope drain from his form, his frail body looking as if it would collapse any second. He put his hand on Yuzuru’s cheek, his thumb drawing tiny circles before it slipped away as Javi tore his eyes from him, stepping back towards the security gate.

 

Before he was far, an arm tugged him to turn right back around, and before Javier knew what was happening, he felt soft lips upon his own. His eyes flashed wide open when Yuzuru pressed his lips against his, and as Yuzuru came closer, his eyelids fluttered closed. He felt time stop for several seconds, and it was just him, just Yuzuru and he, Javi, with their lips meeting in one final goodbye. When Yuzuru pulled away, he was gone in a flash, running towards the exit of the building. But Javi felt Yuzuru’s first tear drop onto his cheek as he reached an arm out to his retreating body, before the security guard patted his back softly to lead him towards his gate. Javier could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces when he looked back to see Yuzuru collapsed in his mother’s arms outside, and he met Yumi’s eyes, her gaze both understanding and heartbroken.

 

Javi felt his steps grow heavier and heavier as he got closer to his gate. He could almost feel a candle burning inside of him, and as his steps grew more sluggish, it felt as if the flame was eating itself up slowly. The only thing in his head was Yuzuru, his adorable ticklish Yuzuru, and his shining eyes as he looked at Javi like he had hung the stars, yet tore his own universe apart. Yuzuru had kissed him, sealing the fact that they had indeed missed their only chance at love.

 

Now, he would never see Yuzuru again.

 

And when he took his first step on the plane, the weight of the worlds hit him, and then, no part of his body yearned to go forward any longer. He froze, teetering backwards, as the security guard looked at him with concern.

 

“Mr. Fernandez, are you alright?”

 

“I- I…. I can’t”

 

“Mr. Fernandez, the plane must leave immediately, so-”

 

“Then let it”, Javier heard himself whisper.

The guard looked at him with wide eyes as he stumbled backwards faster.

 

“I- I can’t go. Leave without me. I can’t go now. I can’t”, he babbled. _I can’t leave Yuzuru behind. I can’t leave my own heart, my own light behind me._

 

He had barely seen the smile flashed across the guard’s face before he signaled the plane off, stepping from the platform, when he turned around and sprinted away from the gates, back to Yuzuru, to what he knew was his true love.

 

He dashed past the lobby, and the crowds full of recognizing faces lit up, and he heard applause begin to sound throughout the building, whoops and cheers filling the air, bringing tears to his eyes. _I’m coming back Yuzu. I won’t leave._

 

His eyes found Yuzuru almost instantly, his form, drained of energy practically hanging off of Yumi’s, trudging slowly to their car. The noise from inside the building erupted when Javier had opened the door, and Yumi’s head whipped back towards the source, eyes widening when she saw who it was barreling towards her and her son. She nudged her son’s drained face softly with a gentle smile on her face, and when Yuzuru had looked up with dull eyes, he’d doubled over with the vision before him. It wasn’t two seconds before he was tangled in Javier’s arms, which clung to him desperately, and he hung there, shock paralyzing his body.

 

“Ja-Jabi? Why- where- why you not-”

 

“Yusu, I can’t leave without you. You’re the love of my life. All this time I’ve been lonely and wanting to go home, and finally when I have the chance to do it, I realized Yusu it’s you. _You_ are my home.”

 

“Jabi! You- your family…”

 

“They will understand Yusu. Please don’t push me away; you wanted me to stay yes? I’ll stay Yusu. Hell, I’ll stay by your side forever until you get sick of me and throw me to the dumps.”

 

And Javier felt his chest begin to glow once again when he saw the gleam in Yuzuru’s eyes return until his pupils were so bright they almost blinded him. He pressed his lips desperately to Yuzu’s, a kiss meaning the first of many more, and when he felt Yuzuru return it, he felt his own flame rekindle, laugher bubbling to the surface of his body. Yuzu, on the other hand, had broken down into tears once more (Javier didn’t know how that tiny little body could hold _so_ many tears), and he felt his tiny palms smacking him firmly yet gently, “Jabi you’re so bad”s and “Cannot believe you”s spewing from between his cries.

 

“Jabi I _love_ you”, Yuzuru sobbed, tears streaking his face, and when Javi pulled back to look at him, he was practically glowing pink, and only then did he realize the depth of their love after all this time, all this time that they never realized…

Javier only silenced his sobs with another kiss, and Yumi’s quiet, proud cries along with the cheers of the crowd within the airport lobby were practically drowned out as he left everything behind him to a vacuum of time; one with only Javi and Yuzuru.

 

_I’m finally home._


End file.
